Today was a harder day than I expected. I think no matter how much we think we are prepared to receive bad news, it sure can still take the wind out of our sales and leave us desperate for hope. I found out that I will have to undergo chemotherapy and radiation. My hopes of running Banff this summer or fall likely won’t happen but I will keep praying and hoping just the same.
I lost my Dad to esophageal cancer in 2000. I remember being very strong for him thru his treatments and the time following. I remember my Dad just gave up and I remember being so upset with him for what I perceived as him taking his life back from God. My Dad struggled with eating due to the treatments and due to the disease and so he just stopped eating and we watched him waste away.
During the time of his death, I clung to the verse Isaiah 40:31 “but those whose hope is in the Lord will renew their strength…”. Such a big promise for such a small cost- all we need to do is have hope in the Lord. Sometimes in life hope is all we have left. It is important to remain hopeful in everything, not just when things get tough. If we always turn to the Lord and have hope in Him for all we do, we will “walk and not be faint”.
For a long time now, I have been longing to return to the mountains to run. There is a 120 mile Rocky Mountain run that I have set for my post cancer goal. Today’s news just postponed that goal… a little. I might not make that goal this year but I am hopeful for 2019. So, I place my hope in the Lord and I know I will “run and not grow weary” as I work through the next few trials on this journey to healthy. Tomorrow, PET scan…